Twenty One Months

This month seriously flew by. I can't even believe it.
This month definitely seemed to go by the quickest, but it was also the most difficult. 
Weird, huh?
This month was a month of realizations.
Good, and bad, and scary, and awful.
But it was completely necessary, and I feel a bit more ready for the future.
All I know is that everything works out the way it's meant to.
Sometimes it's not the way we intended or planned, but that's okay.
I know that in the end, I will be happy with whatever comes my way.
Sometimes people come into your life for a reason.
It may not make sense at the time, but the reasoning will hopefully come later.
It's been such an emotionally exhausting month, I'm just happy it's December.

2 months left until Hunter gets home.


Thankful 15-21

Week threeeee: DONE.
Thanksgiving is next week!
5 more days until Cali :)

#15: I am grateful for stars. A couple days ago I was feeling very sad, very alone, and very confused. I walked outside and just stared at the stars. I couldn't help but think about how amazing the world we live in is, and how perfect the one who created it is. There were so many stars, so far away, but still so beautiful. I love that no matter who you are, or where you're at, we all look at the same sky. We see the same stars. They twinkled (literally) and I felt so at peace and calm. I loved it. I am grateful for these subtle reminders that I am never alone.

#16: I am grateful for my brother, Bryan. He can be the biggest turd sometimes, but he is also so thoughtful! He's does things like upgrade my car lights, scrubs my bathtub, and cooks most nights. Sometimes he has a plate of eggs waiting for me and will even bring my lunch for me. I live with him and we work together! I'm sure he gets sick of me, but I sure am grateful for him. He's always down to eat ice cream, and I enjoy watching Jeopardy and screaming out the answers with him. We totally watched High School Musical last night too. :)

#17: I am grateful for football. I just really love this sport. I love my team, I love my quarterback. I love my family and how much fun we have watching football. I love that all the girls in my family are into it, and I love our group texts during the game. I love the Chargers, whether we win or lose. I just love watching the game. I love the spirit of football. Football season is the best, and I'm already dreading the end of it! We're already in week 12, YIKES! (P.S. I may or may not have chosen #17 for this one...)

#18: I am grateful for institute. I have institute twice a week and it really puts things into perspective for me. I always end up hearing something I really need to hear. I feel comforted, and often confused, but I always feel better afterwards. I love learning new things. I love hearing other peoples' perspectives. I love that there is always something to learn!

#19: I am grateful for honesty. I've had a really tough time the past couple of weeks and today I received the most honest letter in my life. It was really hard to read, and I don't know how I feel about it, but I'm just really grateful it was said and that now I know. Honesty always, people.

#20: I am grateful for sales! I got an awesome deal on a tablet/laptop. I love it already! It's small and portable and just what I need for school. It's like 2 pounds and has a keyboard, and I saved $140. It's the best and I'm super happy. Yay for sales and good deals!

#21: I am grateful for silence. There's been a ton on my mind lately, and my brain just never seems to STOP. This week instead of blasting music like I normally do, I turned off the radio and just drove in silence. It was actually extremely comforting and relaxing. I'm definitely going to do it more often! I LOVE music, but sometimes walking to class without my headphones in makes me happy. I notice things that I never did before. I hear things I never heard before. I am just really grateful that in a word of so much chaos, there are times we can be silent. Silently praying, silently listening, silently driving. Try it! Silence is definitely needed and can be super beneficial.

Well,  there ya go! 21 days of gratitude. I seriously can't even believe all the things that I haven't been appreciating. November is an awesome month. It makes me so happy! I also can't wait to spend Thanksgiving with my family. :) I am thankful for them always.


Thankful 8-14

Weeek 2 of November? DONE! Time is FLYING. Thanksgiving and December are right around the corner. Yay! Also, 25 days until school is over. YESSSS.

If you missed post #1, here it is!

#8: I am grateful for my wonderful friend Shannon. This girl is amazing! She's seriously one of my favorite people ever. I love our friendship so much! We can talk for hours about life, love, school, work, religion, etc. Shannon is quite the optimist and gives the best advice. What I love about her is that she isn't afraid to tell me things I don't want to hear. A lot of people will say what they think you want them to say, instead of what they actually think. But Shannon is always honest, even if I don't want her to be;) She has a way of looking at things in a whole new light, and in ways I had never even thought about. She asks me the hard questions that I don't like to think about or answer. I'm so grateful that I drove this (somewhat) stranger home from work one day. My life would definitely not be the same without her! Thanks Shannon for being YOU. P.S. Wedding planning with her is wayyyy fun!

#9: I am grateful for holidays. Veteran's day is awesome. It's a day to celebrate the men and women who served our country, and it's also a (much needed) day off from school. Obviously, one is more important than the other (celebrating the Veterans), but I will take any day off given to me. 

#10: I am grateful for my heating blanket. It's seriously the best thing I've ever purchased. It keeps me warm at night, and it's adjustable so I can change the temperature. I've never loved an object more. I use it every day! It makes me happy because I am always cold. Thank you to my heating blanket for keeping me nice and warm, and NOT sick. 

#11: I am grateful for growth and journaling. I read my old journals last week, and it's amazing to see how much I've changed and grown, just since the beginning of the year. I love being able to remember and relive memories. It's not as fun to remember the tough times I went through, but I am grateful that I have them written down somewhere. I recommend journaling to EVERYONE. I made it my goal to write in my journal every single day this year, and to write down one thing I am grateful for each day, and I LOVE it. Memories are awesome, but a physical recollection of a moment or an event is priceless. It allows me to take a step back and see myself/a situation from a different light. Growth is tough. I don't like it most of the time, but boy, am I grateful for it. Change is really difficult for me, but I'm happy with the way things are and the way things have turned out. Moral of the story? JOURNAL JOURNAL JOURNAL. I promise, you won't regret it.

#12: I am grateful for hoodies. I don't think this needs much explanation. Warm, and cozy is my favorite thing ever. Add a pocket to keep my hands warm? Sold. If it was acceptable to wear a hoodie every day, all year, I would.

#13: I am grateful for food. I feel so blessed to live in a place where food is ALWAYS available. I honestly can't even imagine not having a fridge to go to, a Chipotle to visit, or a grocery store to stop by. I hope that one day I get to volunteer or work somewhere that has those limitations. I wasn't feeling very good this week and didn't eat much, but the fact that I had food to eat is amazing in itself. Food nourishes our bodies, gives us energy, and for me, is a way to socialize and catch up with friends. I am so thankful for food and I hope I can get better at thanking the one who created it before every meal!

#14: I am grateful for prayer. The power of prayer is unbelievable to me. I love it so much and I am soooo thankful that we can pray, any time of the day, and about anything. I'm grateful for the peace that comes after prayer, and the answers that DO come (even if they aren't as quickly as I'd like). Never underestimate prayer!


Thankful 1-7

Seriously... How is it already a week into November? It feels like it was just October 1st! It's insane how fast this year/semester has gone by. Since November is all about Thanksgiving, I thought I would list off one thing I'm thankful for each day of the month. I'll post once a week for the 4 weeks of November. I challenge anyone else reading this to post once a day or once a week or even once every two weeks about something YOU are thankful for :)

#1: I am thankful for school and my education. Even though school can be extremely stressful, I am so grateful that I GET to get to go to school for almost free. I'm grateful for the teachers that try hard to make class interesting/fun, and I'm grateful for the fact that I LOVE what I'm learning about this semester. It makes going to class a much easier decision ;)

#2: I am thankful for Camille & Curt. I love them SO much. They are always supporting me, helping me, offering advice to me, and loving me. No matter what, I know I can go to them with whatever's on my mind! I love long talks with Curt, and cuddling with Camille on the couch. I have the best (hopefully) future in laws ;)

#3: I am thankful for scarf weather! I've seriously worn a scarf 3 out of the past 7 days. It's not even that cold yet, and sometimes it warms up in the afternoon, but I don't care! 70 degrees means scarves for this girl!

#4: I am thankful for the ability to move on and let go. This definitely is a struggle of mine and I'm soooo grateful for friends who support me and help me make the necessary changes in my life. I love people who help me stick with my goals, even when I want to give up.

#5: I am thankful for preparation! I for sure thought I failed an exam, but I ended up getting a B. I am so happy that the studying paid off, and that I was able to prepare myself for a "high to medium" difficult test. Preparation is key, and I'm so happy that we can prepare for most situations in life. (Definitely not all of them, but a good majority!)

#6: I am thankful for Chipotle. I know this one seems a bit silly, but I really love Chipotle! I love that the ingredients are (for the most part) healthy, and that it fills me and my insane appetite! The workers there are always so nice, and the food is always delicious and quick. It's my go-to food. I literally have Chipotle at least once a week...

#7: I am thankful for doctors. I woke up on Monday to an email from Hunter saying he has pnuemonia. That's definitely NOT what I like to hear from my best friend who is 6,000 miles away. He went to the doctor, took some x-rays, and luckily they caught it in time, so he seems to be doing better. I'm just really thankful for people who spend the time, energy, and money to go to school to attend the sick and wounded. I know that personally, I could NEVER be a doctor (I get queasy super easily and I hate needles and hospitals...) but I am so grateful for the people who DO choose to do that.

And there we have it! The first 7 things I'm thankful for this month :) I really love this picture, because it's so true. When I stop and think about it, I have SO much to be grateful for. I had to stop myself from listing more than 7! I find that the more blessings I CHOOSE to see, the more there seems to be. God is good, people. 


Hunt's Birthday Package!

Hunter's birthday was in July... I sent out his package at the end of August, and I am just now posting pictures! I've kind of been failing in the package/letter department. I just wanted to post pictures so I have them for future reference! 

This package was pretty small compared to the others ones I've sent him. I can't wait until we can celebrate birthdays TOGETHER. A package just isn't the same as a super awesome date or fun surprises... My birthday is coming up soon, and then all the rest of our birthdays will be spent together! I'm stoked.

Well here it is! My favorite thing in the world is this glitter tape I got from Target in the dollar section. It's gorgeous and sparkly and I'm in love with it! I also love these thickers (yup, thickers, thick stickers!) from Michael's. I love anything glittery! 

Green and yellow for Brasil! 

Of course, no missionary package would be complete without a tie, and a pun!
 Two of Hunt's favorite things!  (I kill myself someTIEmes...)

He doesn't have too many regular shirts with him, and this was on sale at Target, so I bought it. He's my real life Superman though. ;)

 I know, this package is not very exciting, but hey, I figure we'll just party super hard for his 22nd birthday to make up for birthdays 20 & 21!

If I had more time, and packages didn't cost an arm and a leg, I definitely would send more. Making them is so fun, and Hunter is always so happy when he gets them!


Stop & Smell the Candles

It's only Tuesday and this week has already been HECTIC! 
Work has been stressssssful. 
I've been going crazy!

It's already November, and sometimes I just wish time would slow down so I could take a breather. Well, yesterday I decided that I deserved to relax, so I went out and bought some delicious smelling candles, and bubble bath, and I took a long, hot bath. It was GREAT! I highly recommend this to everyone! I put on some relaxing music and was at peace. I didn't think about school, or life, or stress, I just listened to my music and relaxed. It was grand, and I'm definitely going to make this a weekly ritual. 

Of course, I spilled hot wax on my hand and on my floor, and I burned myself with a lighter, but hey, life can't be perfect, right? ;) 

I'll take what I can get. One hour a week seems like such a small sacrifice for my overall well being and sanity! I could have been doing a million other things, but I'm glad I took that time to gather myself. I definitely just wanted to sleep after that though!

P.S. The idea of a bath kind of disgusts me, but my brother just redid my shower, so it's clean and sparkly!

On a happier note, despite my stressful week, I found out that I got a B on an extremely difficult test I took last week. I had a D in the class, and didn't feel confident after I took the test, so I figured I would have to retake the class, and I'd be behind and I got extremely stressed. Turns out, I did much better than I thought and the hours and hours I spent studying and reading hundreds of pages actually worked!

I'm a happy camper!

Life can be stressful, but sometimes the best thing to do is stop and smell the candles.


The truth will set you free

I definitely should be writing an essay, studying, doing homework, grocery shopping, doing laundry, and cleaning, BUT I decided to write a blog post instead... There's just a ton on my mind (like always), but even more so today. So here we go!

The future frightens me. Every part of it. The uncertainty, the potential, the change. I can't stand it, yet I find myself living in the future more often than not. It's a frustrating place to be, especially because I can't see the future and I can't predict what's going to happen. That being said, I've definitely been living in the past lately. It hasn't been entirely healthy, so I've decided that I'm done with it. I've experienced, I've learned, and I've grown, but there's a point in time where you just have to move on! You have to be OPEN to the opportunities that come into your life. You have to be open to the trials and challenges that come along with it. You also have to be open to letting go. That last part gets me. It's SO tough for me to let things go. I analyze and overthink constantly, but I'm slowly learning that it doesn't get you anywhere if you aren't willing to make any changes. So I'm making those necessary changes.

I'm mostly rambling at this point, and I probably don't make sense to anyone but myself, but I just needed to document this moment somewhere. I want to look back on this post 6 months from now and know that I did change, that I did grow, and that I did move on. It's not fair to anyone to live in the past, to live in something that didn't happen. It's been holding me back, it's been stressing me out, it's been stunting my growth, so I'm letting it go. It's hard for me to admit this stuff; I like to be strong, and I don't like being vulnerable or weak in any way. I'm very stubborn, so admitting that I can't handle it is tough for me. Admitting that I care more than I should is almost killing me right now, but it's necessary. 

So here's the truth: I'm struggling. I care WAY too much about how I'm being perceived. I'm letting this affect me in ways that aren't healthy, and I'm holding on to something that isn't there. I'm letting it go now, and I'm GOING to be happy. I'm going to allow myself to love and be loved. I'm going to rely on Christ in all things. I'm going to be the person that I want to be and I'm going to believe in the things that I want to believe in. I am grateful for every single experience that has gotten me to this point in my life, but it's time. 

From this day forward, I am going to be honest with myself. I'm going to allow myself to be weak. I'm going to allow myself to be vulnerable, confused, and lost. I'm going to allow myself to be hurt, without feeling like I have to hold it together. I AM broken. But in Him I can be strengthened. And that is all I need.

Happy November 1st!

Here's to moving on and letting go.