Twenty Months

I can't keep track of what day of the week it is 90% of the time.
Then I look at the calendar, and it's the 27th again, and it's been another month since I've seen my best friend. It's really amazing how fast time flies when you aren't focused on it.

Twenty months.
That seems like forever, even though in the grand scheme of things, it's really not that long. We will be together again in about 3 months, and it's such a strange feeling. We've spent so long apart that thinking of being together again is just odd. Obviously, it's the best kind of odd, but it's really starting to make me anxious and worried. I'm worried about getting used to him being home, about finding time in my busy schedule to hang out with my best friend, worried about balancing work and school and family and friends, worried about how weird or different or awkward it will be, worried about how much we've grown and changed, worried about talking about tough subjects that we've somehow avoided... worried about it all! 

Believe me, I am so excited. I really am, but I'm also more scared than I thought I'd be. Hunter is loving his mission so much. He literally see the Lord blessing lives right in front of him, and it's amazing. I am so proud of him for always having the best attitude even when I know he's struggling. He never loses faith, and I love him for that. I'm just starting to get really scared! And anxious! 

School has been going surprisingly well for me, except for one class. I've aced almost every test I've taken, and I really am loving what I'm learning. I'm managing my time pretty well, and work hasn't been too bad lately. Life is good. Life is crazy, and unexpected, and hard, but life is good.

I truly am blessed. 

I've been trying to focus on the blessings I have in my life, instead of complaining about the trials. It really makes such a huge difference. I feel happier! 

Letting go is so tough for me. I over analyze everything you could think of. (Seriously though, it takes me an hour to pick out shampoo). I try to come up for reasons and explanations, but sometimes there just isn't one. I try to predict the future, even though that's impossible. I have a million and a half scenarios playing in my head at every given moment. (I'm not sure if that's a girl thing or an Erica-thing.) But anyways. The point is I think a lot. I've imagined Hunter coming home every day for the past 20 months. And now, finally, it's something that's close to happening.

I can't even handle it.

Nervous is the best word I can think of to describe how I've been feeling lately. Everybody talks about how wonderful it is when missionaries come back, but nobody ever really talks about the tough stuff. The hard stuff.

3 months left guys.


Heavy Heart

Today my heart just hurts.

Another school shooting. Violence. Hatred. Judgmental attitudes. Political agendas. Missing persons. Murder. War. Disease... The list goes on and on and I just feel so sad.

I feel sad for kids who take out their frustrations and anger out through violent means. I feel sad that they think there are no other options. I feel sad thinking about the things that the world values and teaches. I feel sad thinking about the innocent lives lost. I feel sad thinking about where the world is headed... My heart just feels so heavy today! The world is full of so much bad, so much anger, and so much hate. I just want everyone to know that Christ is there for you. He's there for you even in the darkest times, even after you sin, even after you feel like there is no hope. He will help you. He will never forsake you. He will listen to you always. He will comfort you when needed. He knows your heart, your struggles, and your pain. He LOVES you, and He is there for YOU.

Oh how badly I wish everyone knew this. 
Oh how I wish everyone realized how precious each individual life is. 
Oh how I wish we would just put down the weapons, stop with the hate, and realize how much we are LOVED by our creator.

And that's all I really wanted to say.
My heart hurts.


99 days to go!

I've been waiting for this day for a REALLY long time,
600 to be exact.
We are finally out of the double digits, and I can't even tell you how excited this makes me.

(Technically I won't see Hunter in 99 days because his parents are going to pick him up and visit Brazil for a bit, so it'll be a little while after that, but I still go by the release date until I know exactly when I will be able to see him!)

600 days, guys.
That's a really long time.
I can't even believe it's been that long.
600 days of waking up and not being able to see my best friend.
600 days since I've texted him.
600 days since I've gotten to hug him.
I honestly don't even know where the time went.
I can remember the day Hunter left like it was yesterday.
And in 99ish days, I get to hug him once again.

I haven't been this excited for anything in my whole life. 
My little heart leaps when I think about it.
I get nervous butterflies when I imagine that first embrace!

We've definitely had some rough times though, especially the past 6 months.
A lot happened, and a lot changed, but in the end, Hunter and I came out stronger than ever.
(I'm sensing a pattern here...)
Every time life throws us a curve ball, we still manage to get that home run.
I adore him and can't wait to have my best friend back!
I'm seriously praying for sanity these next couple months.
I'm sure the holidays will make time go by super quick; I'm stoked!

One thing I love about Hunter is his loyalty, commitment, and faith in us.
In 3+ years, he has never had one moment of doubt that things would work out.
Me, on the other hand... Lots of worries, confusions, and doubts along the way.
Shoot, I still have them sometimes!
Life is just so uncertain, and it's scary to me.
But Hunter, he's different.
He's known.
From the day he told me he loved me, he just knew that we were meant for more.
He'd hold me and reassure me all those hard nights before his mission. 
I'd cry and cry until my eyes were blood-shot red.
He'd let my snot and tears get all over his shirt, and wouldn't ever complain.
He'd hug me until I finally pulled away.
He is my rock.
Even from 6,000+ miles away, he sure knows how to calm my fears and doubts.
I have the best, best friend out there.

And guys, I seriously can't wait until he's home.

Hunter Curtis, I love you.
Thanks for being you.
Thank you for your faith in us.
Thank you for serving wholeheartedly.
Thank you for loving me unconditionally.
See you in 99ish days:)

I'll be waiting<3


Too many tissues

I've never been more excited for the weekend.
This has been me ALL week...

Actually, just kidding.
This has been me all week:
(I don't get to lay in bed all day)

But this is a much cuter picture.
(I wish I looked this adorable when I'm sick)

I can't wait to snuggle up in my bed. 
I have to do homework, but hey, it's better than talking on the phones for hours at a time. And coughing my lungs out. And using my entire box of tissues in two days. Oh and it's much better than getting 5 bloody noses this week. Yup, I said 5.

This week has been rough. I just found out I have a D in my international business class. A solid D too, not even a D+. You could say school and I aren't doing so hot right now. 

Anyone wanna tutor me? 

I'm just going to go disappear now.


Baby Shower & Chargers Game

The end of September was a busy month for me, but I loved it! We drove to Cali on Friday the 26th, had a baby shower for my sister Monica on Saturday the 27th, and went to a Chargers football game the 28th. Then we drove home that night and I had to be at school at 7:30AM... It was a rough week, but so much fun and definitely worth it. Here are A LOT of pictures from that weekend. :)

The shower was beautiful and so much fun. Thanks so much to Kathy for throwing it and for making everything so beautiful. I also adore my sister's friends! She has some awesome people in her life and I am so grateful for that!

My beautiful sister Monica! 

We love our little Clark!

Me and my little.

Buddy loves taking pictures with us...

It was a beautiful, but extremely sunny day, but we killed those Jags!

Sisters who watch football together, stay together!

This sums up my parents in a picture.

 I am happy! I love my family, I love my team, and I loveeeee California. 



I'm late posting this because life has been so crazy lately!
September seriously flew by. 
One minute it was September 1st, and the next it was October 1st.
(No complaints here, I can't wait until school is over in December haha)

Hunter has had a wonderful month.
He's starting to see the influence he has on the people around him.
I think this is the happiest he's been since he's been on his mission!
I love it.

Life is crazy, and a lot of stuff happens.
Many things change.
People grow together, people grow apart.
We have blessings, and we have trials.
Life happens.

I don't know what will happen tomorrow, in a month, or in a year, but at the end of the day, I really am just so grateful for Hunter's example of selfless love. 
I'm lucky to have a best friend like him.

4 months left, people.
Is this real?


October Happiness

October makes me happy.
Actually, October makes a lot of people happy.

Here are some happy things I look forward to this October!

1) General Conference. Even though there is a lot I don't understand and a lot that I don't necessarily know if I believe in, I loveeeee general conference. The talks given are always amazing and I always feel spiritually refreshed afterwards. I always thought people were weird for getting so excited over "old guys talking", but man, it's one of my favorite times of the year. I love that my Facebook/Instagram is filled with spiritual happiness for a solid two days. This girl is super stoked!

2) Two of my classes are ending. I decided to try out some 7.5 week classes this semester. It's been rough and I definitely don't recommend taking 7 classes at one time, but it's awesome that I'm done with finance and my geology lab so early. It's a lot of information all crammed into one, and I'm taking them online, and I have my third finance exam and my final exam two days apart, but it's okay, because it'll all be over in about a week. Can't complain about that!

3) Flagstaff adventure with my fam. My sister and brother-in-law are coming to Flagstaff for a short little visit before baby Clark comes into this world. My little sister, big brother, and I are going to drive up there and spend the day with them. Flagstaff is sooo beautiful. I haven't been back since I left NAU in December 2012. (Wow, has it really been that long?!) I've missed the crisp air, beautiful scenery, and the fact that they actually have seasons. Hopefully I can show them some cool spots up there! It'll be a good time.

4) Pumpkin errrything. Seriously obsessed with pumpkin. So far, I've had pumpkin bread, pumpkin pie, pumpkin ice cream, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin cereal bars, pumpkin kisses and pumpkin drinks. And it's only October 1st! Ha, I love pumpkin goodness :) 

5) Fall clothing is my fav. October is lovely because I can finally start wearing boots, scarves, layers, and sweaters! I get cold really easily, so end of October/early November is perfect weather for me. I get chilly in December, so I love snuggling up, big hoodies, and scarves in October.

6) Super cheap candy after Halloween. Need I say more? I'm totally down for 70% off candy at every store I go to. Bring on the toothaches and cavities! (But not really...)

Anyways, October is wonderful.

Happy October 1st:)