6/27/14

Sweet Sixteen

TGIF.
But this isn't just any other Friday.
Today marks 16 months since sweet Hunter left on his mission.
SIXTEEN!


I can hardly believe that in 7 months we will be reunited once again.
This crazy adventure will be coming to an end soon.
I'm just praying for patience and guidance to get me through this home stretch.
If I've learned anything lately, it's that you fight for what you want.
You fight for true love.
You endure the trials, and the hardships.
You love where you're at.
You love the Lord.

Also, honesty is always the best policy.
2 years is an extremely long time to spend away from the one you love.
And I am so grateful that Hunter is always honest with how he's feeling.
It helps both of us out when we are 100% honest.

Being a missionary is a difficult job, and being home isn't always fun either.
We've had our ups and downs this past months, that's for sure.
But like always, we come out stronger and even more in love.

The end is in sight, yet it's still so far away.
We are both trying to focus on ourselves for the next 7 months.
We still have a lot of growing to do!
But then again, the thought of seeing my sweet Hunter again makes my stomach churn.
It's a mixture of butterflies, excitement, and anxiety.
He's going to come home, guys...
Okay, there I go, getting ahead of myself again!
Patience.


Hunter Curtis Hoopes, 7 more months my dear.
30 weeks.
214 days.
January 27th, 2014, I'm ready for you.

6/20/14

53 minutos

Just 53 more minutes and I get to go home!
Here's to a relaxing weekend!
(More like lots of studying and homework...)

But no work.
Halleluah!

I started doing 4X10's this week (10 hour days, 4 days a week, and three days off!)
I have Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays off.
Not too shabby, eh?

Well now it's 51 more minutes of work, and I'm going to try to be productive.
There was like no reason for this post. 
But oh well!

TGIF.

6/17/14

Don't let go

The past month has been quite the learning experience for me. I've felt out of it, lost, overwhelmed, alone, and confused all at the same time. It's definitely been an adventure for me, but what I've learned has definitely been worth this craziness:


If you have something good, don't let it go.



If you have a good relationship, don't let it go. Despite the tears you'll shed, the arguments you'll have, and the distance and trials you have to face, just hold on and don't let go.



If you have a good idea, don't let it go. Even if you are told it won't work. Even if you don't know how to make things work, keep trying. Keep dreaming and keep holding on; don't let that idea slip away.


If you have a good job, don't let it go. There will be frustrating days, annoying coworkers, and times where you feel stress and overworked. Just keep working and feel grateful that you are currently employed.


If you have a good life, don't let that go. Actually, I'm a firm believer that we all have good lives. Sure some of our circumstances might not be ideal, but we do have good lives. We are alive, AND we have a perfect Father in heaven who loves us. 

What more could we need or want? 


Although there are tons of bad, unhappy, and negative things that happen, it's important to remember all the good things we have.


Don't let go of those good things. EVER.

6/11/14

Plans

Soooo, I'm kind of a planner.
I pretty much have to plan everything.
I have this timeline in my head that has all of the things I need to do, or buy. 
All of the little errands I need to run, all the people I need to see, yeah yeah yeah.


I like to think I can plan on who I am marrying, when I am getting married, where I am getting married, where I'll be getting a job, where I'll live, when I'll have kids, etc.
The truth is, I can't really PLAN any of these things.
Life happens. I'm slowly starting to realize this.

The truth is, I like planning. I like having structure and organization in my life. I like having my color-coordinated calendar hanging on my wall that displays all of my important events. I like my to-do lists, and I like knowing what I'm going to be doing and who I'm going to be doing it with, but of course, that isn't always the case... And that's OKAY

I often catch myself comparing my timeline to the timelines of others. She is getting married, he is getting an internship, she is accomplishing this... etc. This behavior is extremely destructive. It causes jealously, anger, frustration, sadness, and confusion. It also makes me beat myself up. But the honest truth is I'm doing the best I can. I'm realizing that my timeline is different from everyone else's. My journey and path are completely individualized. Everything will happen the way it's meant to and when it's meant to.

Heavenly Father has the ultimate plan for us, and sometimes His plan far surpasses ours. His goals for us differ because he's sees what we can be, instead of what we are now. He sees our potential, our worth, our value, and our heart. Trust in HIM above all else. One of my favorite scriptures is Proversb 3:5-6.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

In my life, I've found this to be true always. He knows us all individually. He knows our path. We need to trust HIM. 

As much as I like to plan, and as much as I like to think I know what I'm doing, the truth is I don't always know what's best for me, what's right for me, or what I need, but Heavenly Father does. I'm learning to loosen my grip on the steering wheel, and let Him take the wheel and drive:)



For those of you who have asked or have been wondering, I am definitely still writing Hunter. He is my best friend and I love him so very much! BUT, We have decided for the next 7 months, we are going to focus more on where we are, instead of where we will be. We had/have so many plans for our future together, but we both realize that a lot has happened in the past 15 months. We have both changed a ton and will need to get to know each other again. We will have to get back in the groove of things and we've agreed that the less pressure there is, the better. The future is something we can't always control, so we are taking life as it comes. :) That being said, I truly do believe that we are meant for more. We've both had several confirmations that one day we WILL be together, and hopefully will be forever.

These two years are good for us because it's a time for us to live, explore, develop, be independent, and become the best versions of ourselves. This distance is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It doesn't really get easier, and I always feel like I have a piece of me missing, but I really do feel like I've grown a ton as a person, as a friend, and as a daughter of our Heavenly Father. 

For those of you currently "waiting" for a missionary, I advise you to stop focusing so much on the future. Stop sitting around and waiting for time to go by faster. LIVE YOUR LIFE! Go hang out with friends, try new things, smile, laugh, and have fun. Learn a new skill, take up a new hobby, or binge watch a show on Netflix. Write your missionary when you can, but focus on improving YOURSELF above all. Read your scriptures, and pray often. Grow closer to the Lord and you will grow closer to your missionary because of it. You'll make mistakes, just remember to learn from them. 

Don't forget that life happens. We need to embrace that. Life is pretty fantastic if you allow it to be. :) 

6/9/14

Funk.

Hmm it seems that I am in a funk.
A gross, terrible, awfully depressing funk.
I don't want to go out, but I hate staying in.
I want company, but loathe it at the same time.
I can feel the tears coming on, but they stop so suddenly.

Yup, I'm in a funk.

It probably has to do with the fact that my best friend is on the other side of the world. And that I haven't seen him in 467 days.

It could be because I started an 8 week online accounting class that is already kicking my butt.

It's also because I am getting a part time job, on top of my full time job because I need money to pay for bills, school, and LIVING.

It might also be because I am 20, and I already feel 40. Most of my friends are on missions or up at school. I'm tired and burnt out, even though this is my time to ENJOY life, swim, soak up the sun, and relax. And I'm doing just the opposite.

This funk is bad. I crave ice cream and my bed 24/7. 

Sorry for being a debby downer, but whateverrrrr. This funk shall pass and all will be dandy once again.  These funks happen once every few months, but life gets better, my attitude changes, I become more positive, I start to see the good, but for now, I will eat ice cream, and curl up in a ball in my bed...

Oh, and I'll pray. I'll pray my little heart out. When I'm in these funks, Heavenly Father ALWAYS provides peace, comfort, and a reassuring feeling of love. He lets me know that I'm not alone and that He's always there for me. What's lost, can be found. What's broken can be healed, and my weaknesses become strengths, through Him.

6/4/14

Don't Forget... LOVE

Life gets crazy, and you forget things. You forget how much you miss your family, you forget how fun it is to hang out with your friends, and you forget how important it is to love the people around you.

{Okay so maybe not everyone forgets these things, but I know I certainly do!}

I've been asked a few times about what love really is, and I think the following describes it perfectly:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
-1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love NEVER fails. I love that. I love knowing that love is one of the most powerful feelings we can possibly have. Really, who are we without love? Without love from our family, and friends? Without love from our boyfriends/girlfriends/significant others? But most importantly, who are we without the love from our Father in Heaven? He is the ultimate example of true love. I am so grateful to have such a beautiful, perfect example of what love should really be like.

I truly believe that love is what makes the world go round. It consumes us, guides us, confuses us, and betters us. It's unconditional, ever-lasting, and beautiful. Why would anyone in their right mind not want love? 

The answer? It's hard. It takes work. It doesn't happen over night. It's an ongoing, never-ending process. Love is forgiveness, love is trust, it's faith, it's hope, and it's desire. It's complex, but simple. It's effortless and hard work. Love can make your day wonderful, and the absence love can break your heart. Love is something we should never forget, and always strive for.

Love is forgiving someone who has hurt you.
Love is a sweet hug on a bad day.
Love is a choice.
But most importantly, love is selfless.

Don't forget about love.

Happy Wednesday! :)

6/2/14

Puzzle Pieces

I finally got myself to church yesterday!
It's been a long while since I've gone, but the messages were absolutely perfect.
They were exactly what I needed to hear.
I am so grateful for the Lord and his MANY blessings in my life.

This is a short excerpt from a conference talk from April 2011 titled, "Waiting on the Road to Damascus". It's also by President Uchtdorf (he's kinda my favorite!).

"The truth is, those who diligently seek to learn of Christ eventually will come to know Him. They will personally receive a divine portrait of the Master, although it most often comes in the form of a puzzle—one piece at a time. Each individual piece may not be easily recognizable by itself; it may not be clear how it relates to the whole. Each piece helps us to see the big picture a little more clearly. Eventually, after enough pieces have been put together, we recognize the grand beauty of it all. Then, looking back on our experience, we see that the Savior had indeed come to be with us—not all at once but quietly, gently, almost unnoticed."

I love love love this. Each little nugget of knowledge, or every peaceful reassurance is only one tiny piece of the entire picture. Knowing Christ is not something that happens over night, in a week, or even in a year! It's an ongoing, never-ending process. We just have to do our best to come unto Him each and every day.

I KNOW that our Heavenly Father loves us. Through the good and the bad, He is always there, and that is something that I will always be grateful for.

Happy Monday, I hope you all have a wonderful week! :)